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  “The governor found out,” Eric said, and then gasped as Kira ground herself against him. “I’d had enough by then. I just wanted to get away. He had me brought in and demanded I do the right thing for his daughter, considering her condition.”

  Kira gasped and stopped. “She was…”

  Eric nodded. “I had no idea. She told me she couldn’t. I mean seriously, these days that doesn’t happen without both parties’ consent, especially in those circles! She must have had her sterility reversed secretly.”

  “Wow, she really wanted you.” Kira stared down at him and felt how deep he was inside of her. She could understand why; he was wonderful. Well, he was a good man out of bed, too.

  “But I didn’t want her,” Eric emphasized.

  “That didn’t go over well, did it?”

  Eric snorted. “Turns out we’d succeeded at hiding our relationship from the mother, too.”

  “Oh, shit — you mean?”

  Eric nodded.

  “How’d you get away?”

  “I’m banned from that world, the official decree. Unofficially, I keep my head down because he has contracts out on me.”

  “And the child?”

  “Which one?”

  Kira slapped him on the chest.

  “Oh, you mean her being pregnant. No, it turned out the doc she went to wasn’t legit. She got real sick from the complications and lost the baby.”

  “You’d better not ever do that to me.”

  Eric looked up at her and smiled. “You haven’t said anything but I’d guess you haven’t had your sterility reversed.”

  “I don’t mean that,” Kira said, biting her lip briefly. The thought of having a child with him sent butterflies through her stomach. The good kind. She didn’t know him very well but she could see how the other girl had fallen for him. “I mean you’d better not decide you don’t want me.”

  Eric slid his hands up her sides and pulled her down to him. She resisted at first but then let him bend her forward until her breasts were mashed against his chest. He stared into her eyes and said, “Impossible. I haven’t even figured out all the different ways that I do want you.”

  Kira closed her eyes and let a tear slip out. She pushed her lips to his so he wouldn’t see her, and then crushed herself against him at both points of contact. Eric groaned beneath her but that only prompted her to wiggle her hips and grind against him that much harder. In no time, she felt him swell larger than ever and stiffen beneath her. A moment later he was gasping into her mouth and she felt herself returning the gesture as she tried to melt into him.

  Several minutes passed before Eric kissed her again and said, “It’s your turn, but there’s one little thing I should probably mention…”

  Kira sat up on him, making him gulp loudly as she slipped him fully back inside of her. “If this is bad I’m going to”

  “I love you, Kira.”

  “Aw, fuck,” she muttered, her eyes tearing up even as she tried to look anywhere but at him.

  Chapter 5

  “You’re sure on our speed?”

  Eric nodded. “Engine power is unaffected and the pushers are operating optimally. One took a ding but it’s been fixed.”

  “All right, it’s time to hit the bunks then. We’ll go under for four weeks, and then back up early in case there are problems,” Sharp said with everyone gathered in the galley.

  Kira knew Eric kept looking at her. Everyone did; it was obvious. After his profession of affection, she’d made an excuse and gotten the hell away from him. After two days of avoiding him, she was thinking it was time to rectify that situation. Being without him just didn’t feel like fun. Not to mention she was starting to walk without any twinges.

  Sharp dismissed them to deal with any last minute issues. She caught Eric watching her. She wanted to look at him. Wanted to send him a smile or a wink or even a wave. She wanted to give him any sign, but she was afraid. It wasn’t him she was afraid of — he’d done nothing but be perfect for her. No, she was afraid of herself. She forced herself to stare at the wall and clenched her stomach and fists tightly, wishing she could make all the confusion and heartache go away.

  Kira opened her eyes, unaware that she’d closed them. She gasped and reached out, grabbing the wall for support. She was in the engine control room…with Eric. She looked around, her heart suddenly thundering in her chest. Nothing looked out of place aside from one of Eric’s utility knives lying on the floor several feet away.

  “Eric…what happened? How’d I get here?”

  Eric swore softly. “You really don’t know?”

  “What? Did something happen? Did I black out? I used to do that when I was a kid. I…I even heard that I did some things during the blackouts.”

  “How old are you?”

  “I’m thirty-seven Terran Standard years.”

  “Impossible!” Eric blurted out. “You look like you’re twenty-two!”

  Still upset, Kira shrugged his surprise off. She needed answers, not more dilemmas. “Good genetics, I guess. Other than this trip, I’ve never gone under cold sleep.” She paused before bitterly adding, “At least not that I can remember.”

  “What about body mods? Cyber or genetic?”

  She held up her arm with the data input link on it. “Just this. I swear.”

  Eric swore again. “Tell me, Kira. Tell me why you’re here. How’d it happen? When were you born? What’s your story — your full story?”

  She looked at him, chewing on her lip even as her lip trembled. Here it was, the moment where she decided what her future held. Maybe. She didn’t know; she’d never tried telling her story to anyone before. Then again, she’d never let herself begin to trust anyone before. “I’m not crazy! Please believe me, I’m not crazy!”

  Eric stared at her, expressionless. “From the beginning.”

  Kira nodded, sniffing back unshed tears. “I’m Kira Eskew. I was born at the hydro farms in the near-Earth orbit. School was normal; friends were normal. Then I started having my blackouts when I hit my teen years. They came and went and I’m not sure what I did to get by, but I always had money. I got this data port during one of them, in fact.”

  Eric whistled softly. “That’s one way to avoid the pain of surgery.”

  Kira smiled sadly. “I’d rather have the pain. Do you know what it’s like having entire blocks of your life missing? I held different jobs: receptionist, model, aeroskimmer shuttle pilot, janitor, and a bunch of other entry level things. It was always something new, and I never really knew how I got them.”

  “That’s amazing,” Eric whispered.

  “Try annoying. Up until just now I haven’t had a blackout in a couple of months. That’s a record! Well, it was. I’d hoped they were over but I guess not…”

  More tears fell, prompting Eric to step closer and gather her up in a comforting hug. “That’s why I ran away. I’m scared of what’s going to happen to me. And to you. I don’t want to wake up somewhere else and not have you with me. Or what if I don’t remember you at all?”

  “Five million Core Script,” Eric spat out abruptly. “That’s the price on my head.”

  Kira stared at him for a long moment. “That’s…a lot of money,” she ventured. “I can’t think of a safer place for you, though. Always on the move and no real address or clue where you’ll be next. No reason to trace your name either. Does anybody know you’re on the Rented Mule?”

  He shook his head. “Just me...us, I guess.”

  “Well, that’s my story,” Kira said. “There’s a lot of holes in it, but it’s all I’ve got. I’m scared shitless of what always seems to happen to me, but I’ve never told anybody before either. Maybe I just needed to trust somebody to make it go away. Or maybe I’ll never see you again.”

  Eric nodded, and then looked away. When he looked back at her, he focused on her eyes and said, “I’m fucking crazy, but I believe you. Everything you’ve just said, I believe. I’m willing to risk it for you. Not anybo
dy else, just you, Kira.”

  Kira found herself smiling. The smile faded quickly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “Just trying to make sure every part of you hears me, so that way I’m burned into your memory to keep you from pulling the blackout again.”

  “Oh!” Kira smiled again. “I hope it works!”

  He let out a laugh. “Me, too. Now, come on; we’ve got a date with some hibernation bunks.”

  “Don’t suppose the Captain would let us share one?”

  Eric laughed. “Don’t even ask, trust me! The good thing is the time will pass quickly.”

  “Do we have time for me to apologize for running out on you?”

  “I bet we can squeeze it—mmph!”

  Chapter 6

  Kira woke up slowly, coming out of a fog that she had to fight her way out of. She remembered something about a conversation she had with another woman, but she could never see her face. As the light intensified, her memory of the dream faded.

  “Kira? You with us?”

  Kira groaned and opened her eyes, squinting even though the lights had been turned low. A familiar figure loomed above her. She smiled in spite of herself and removed the attachments that allowed her body to enter the hibernation sleep. A moment later he was helping her out of the tube and handing her a robe.

  “Want to help me out of my bed too?” Tarn called with a nasty leer in his voice. Thumb protruding between index and middle finger, Eric gave Tarn the universal gesture everyone throughout the Coalition worlds had only one definition for. Tarn laughed again.

  “Be at your stations in fifteen minutes. I want to know what our status is,” Captain Sharp ordered. He headed off to his own quarters to change, leaving the rest to make do in the communal locker room.

  “If you hurry, you can get there before the men,” Eric urged.

  Kira’s eyes widened. She winked at him and hurried off, thankful that her body was responding to a normal wakeup instead of the forced one. Until she stubbed her toe going through a hatch, that is. Limping, she still made it to the locker room before the others and slapped her hand across the occupied button. Breathing an unnecessary sigh of relief, she let the robe fall and turned to the full length mirror. She studied herself, noting how growth during hibernation was effectively halted.

  Then again she’d always been exceptionally lucky when it came to her body. She seldom needed to use any depilatory creams, for example. Aside from her long hair that was currently dyed red, her body didn’t seem to grow any. She’d wanted to get that checked out at a doctor’s office but the opportunity had never presented itself. Her fingernails and toenails were similar; they seemed to grow to a set length but never beyond. She’d gotten used to it over the years but it still seemed bizarre.

  Kira looked up, looking in her own eyes. She jumped and spun around, looking for the dark shape that was behind her. There was no one there. She looked around, her heart beating quickly in her chest, but still no one was there. She turned her head to glance in the mirror again but all was as it should be.

  Kira straightened, and then wondered why she had been crouched so low she was almost on her hands and knees. She’d been comfortable, but why would she want to duck? She shook her head again and walked to her locker, intent on dressing quickly. She definitely wanted a shower before she had a chance to get Eric alone, but right now she was more interested in getting out of the locker room.

  No further peculiarities haunted her as she dressed and left the locker room behind. She walked past the four men waiting in the hall outside, with Tarn alone being the one to grunt, “Finally!” Eric just flashed her a smile and shrug, and then moved past her into the room to change.

  Kira considered waiting but decided she’d do better to get to the bridge. She needed the Captain happy with her, not frustrated. Especially if she was really going to try and stick it out with Eric. Staying on the Rented Mule made the most sense to her, at least for now. She knew he’d stick up for her; it was the least she could do to give him the same respect.

  “That was fast,” Sharp said as he entered the bridge and took his seat. Kira smiled to herself. She’d heard him coming and smelled the cologne he’d splashed on. It wasn’t out of any hopes of bedding her, she knew, but just something he’d done until he could get a proper shower.

  “Yes, Captain. I wanted to see if four weeks of sleep might have given me any new ideas on how to fly a blind transport ship.”

  “I like your attitude, Kira. This was a probationary milk run, but you’ve done a great job. Keep from screwing up and I might just keep you on,” he said. “Not to mention if I lose you, I lose my engineer, too.”

  Kira realized she was staring at him, too late to stop herself. He was grinning. “Thought so,” he said. Kira glared at him briefly and then turned away before he could see the heat in her cheeks or the smile that refused to let her lips stay down. “Just keep it quiet, okay? Last thing I need is Tarn running around making cracks or thinking he deserves a piece.”

  “Tarn couldn’t get a piece with a handful of Core Script in the middle of a whorehouse!” Kira slapped her hand over her mouth, turning quickly to see the Captain trying to stifle a laugh. “I’m sorry, sir; it just slipped out! I didn’t—“

  Sharp held up his hand to stop her. “Yes, you did. It’s okay; he’s a pig. He’s been with me a while and he wasn’t always like this. Couple of lifetimes ago it seems Tarn was a member of Marine FIST Team One. He was a heavy weapons guy, specialized in exo-planet operations.”

  “What happened to him?” Kira couldn’t stop herself from asking. Marine FIST teams, First Insertion Special Tactics, were the best that the Coalition of Worlds military had to offer. The Navy was better known for its ships and vast presence, but the Marines did the grunt work. FIST teams were the best the Marines had to offer. Elite and unstoppable. Plus they had access to genetic engineering far beyond anything available to the regular population. Even royalty couldn’t come close to the military upgrades FIST team members could pick and choose from.

  “He doesn’t talk about it,” Sharp answered with a shrug. “Says it was time for him to move on; pay wasn’t good enough or something.”

  Kira snorted. If he thought the pay babysitting a transport was better than the military pay plus the FIST team bonus, he was even dumber than she thought. “Doesn’t smell right.”

  Sharp laughed again. “No. No, he never does smell right, does he? Now how’s my ship doing?”

  Kira nodded and spun back around, smacking her knee in the process. She swore and rubbed it before resting her data port over the matching port on the station. She ordered a status check across the display at her station, picking and choosing what to route to the main display visible to everyone on the bridge. A few minutes later she looked up to see Tarn and Eric had joined them. She frowned, upset that they had stepped foot on the bridge without her realizing it.

  “Kira?” Sharp asked, seeing her looking around.

  “Sir, we’re still blind. Sensors are useless and our backup systems are passive, useless for navigation.”

  “Tarn?”

  Tarn abused his station’s buttons a few more times before he snarled and kicked it, leaving a minor dent in the steel panel. “Shot to hell…sir.”

  “Our main external cameras are fried, too, right?”

  “The Mule wasn’t designed with redundancy in mind, Captain,” Eric said. “All the sensor feeds were in our main array.”

  “Damn ship doesn’t even have a window I can look out,” Sharp muttered. “Figure out how we can fix that – all of you! In the meantime, fix what can be fixed. Airlock, hull, whatever.”

  Eric left immediately, motioning to Jeff and Kevin to follow him. Tarn hung around a minute longer, staring at the back of Eric’s head until he disappeared. Then he, too, left the bridge. Kira glanced at her station, wondering what use she could be. She had dozens of skills but none of them seemed worth a damn on a transport vessel. Sure, she was a certif
ied navigator, even though she didn’t remember what made her decide to enroll in the training program. She could pose for a videographer, too, or clean the ship until it sparkled. None of that did a damn bit of good, though. She punched her station and stood up abruptly.

  “You too?” Sharp barked at her.

  Kira glared at him, and then remembered her position and backed down. “Sorry sir, just frustrated.”

  “Yeah, that makes all of us. Hell of a first run. You let Eric get some work done, you hear me?”

  Kira felt the deck open up beneath her. Rather than swallow her entire body, it only took her stomach. She nodded, refusing to look away even though the blush on her cheeks gave her away. “I’d like to go and see if I can help, sir.”

  Sharp waved with his hand. “Can’t make it any worse,” he muttered.

  Kira jerked as though he’d slapped her. Was it her fault? Had she screwed up something and not realized it? He’d complimented her a few minutes ago; now this? Or maybe the Captain was just as upset as the rest of them. She nodded and hurried past him, trying to make sense of his moods and wondering if any of it was her fault.

  Kira cursed herself for how clueless she was. Falling for Eric was just making it worse for her. Normally she was reserved and careful because she knew a lot more went around her than she realized. Now she had that and an obsession with a man dominating her thoughts. She was lucky she’d managed to put her clothes on right!

  Kira stumbled to a halt, nearly losing her balance in the process. She reached down and pulled the waist of her pants out just enough to let light in. “Oh!” She gasped, letting go of her waistline and slapping a hand to her mouth. She really was an idiot; she’d forgotten her underwear!

  Chapter 7

  The repairs were finished, or at least as much as could be done with the material they had. What remained to be done they figured they’d take care of once they docked at the mining station. That left time only for stewing on their situation and trying to pass the time. Kira and Eric enjoyed the latter far more than the former.